My Immortal
by Kissa-chan
Summary: Song-fic done to Evanecence's song, "My Immortal". It focuses on Kikiyo and InuYasha. Enjoy!


Standard disclaimers apply. I do not own InuYasha or Evanescence's song, "My Immortal".   
  
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I'm so tired of being here...  
  
Suppressed by all of my childish fears...  
  
  
  
Exhaustion pulled heavily at his soul... reminding him of all that he had lost, and how precious little he had gained. Several feet away from him; dressed in her crimson hakama and white gi, aiming an arrow at his chest, was Kikiy, the priestess from his childhood.  
  
Her eyes were expressionless, boring coldly into his. "Inu...yasha," she breathed his name, softly. There was a hint of hate... disgust tingeing her voice.  
  
He gazed at her silently, suppressing a weary sigh. She was his past - always there, and yet, always gathering further and further away. He had been different then, seeking to destroy her and take the Shikon no Tama for himself. He had no idea how she would pull aside the layers of his fears, opening him up to her - heart and soul...  
  
She released the arrow, letting it slam into the bounds restraining him in mid-air. A slight smile slipped across her lips and she turned, slowly making her way into the thick forest. All around her, her soul collectors flew...  
  
And if you have to leave...  
  
I wish that you would just leave...  
  
Because your presence still lingers here...  
  
And it won't leave me alone...  
  
"Kikiyo... wait..." he called out, voice soft and tinged with exhaustion.  
  
She hesitated slightly, and he kept going, words pouring from his mouth like water. "If you have to leave... if you have to be... gone... I..."  
  
She turned to look at him, head cocked slightly to the side. "InuYasha?" she made his name a question.  
  
He felt her eyes boring into him, but refused to look up. How could he just tell her to stay gone? His heart rejected the idea furiously, but at the same time, he knew it would be best. She was gone; killed at the hands of Naraku. And yet, she still lingered, haunting him.  
  
He was never alone. She couldn't stay gone because she was always with him. She plagued his thoughts... his dreams... She was haunting his life, denying him peace. Every time it seemed he got close to closing the wound of her death, she came back... tearing his heart open and leaving him desperate for her...  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal..  
  
This pain is just too real...  
  
There's just too much...  
  
That time cannot erase...  
  
And they wouldn't close. He wasn't healing. Everything hurt too much for it too be healing. The pain was too real - to immediate. There was just so much that wouldn't fade with the passing of time.  
  
There was just too much that the press of time couldn't fix... So much of the past the nothing could ever erase.  
  
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears,  
  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of you fears,  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years...  
  
But you still have... all of me...  
  
"I was there for you; as you were there for me," he said, abandoning his attempt to request her to stay gone.   
  
She turned, walking away from him.  
  
"I've longed to hold you through all these years..." InuYasha said. She kept going; he could hear her foot steps hitting the earth as she move farther and farther away.   
  
An emptiness swelled in his chest, leaving him feeling vacant and lost. "You still have all of me..." he murmured.  
  
She stopped once more, turning back towards him. "What of 'Kagome'?" she called out to him, her voice twisting into a snarl. She made her way rapidly towards him; not sure what she intended to go when she got to the kneeling inu.   
  
You used to captivate me...  
  
By your resonating light...  
  
But now I'm bound to the life you left behind...  
  
Your face it haunts; my once pleasant dreams...  
  
Your voice; it chased away all the sanity in me...  
  
"You used to captivate me... with your resonating light," he whispered. He could remember her gentle voice and never-ending serenity; the feeling of peace that he got from her. It was the gentle light that beat in time with her heart that had first ensnared him. It was the light from her soul that captivated him.  
  
"Used to?" she demanded.  
  
"But now I'm bound to the life you left behind," he said, oblivious to her demand. "Everything that we were... everything that you were... everything... It traps me, binding me to the past. It holds me more firmly then any arrow you could ever shoot." He laughed shortly, startling the dead priestess.  
  
He caught her hand, grasping it gently. Slowly, he looked up, gazing at her face. "Your face haunts me... invading once pleasant dreams..." She had haunted him in the past too... slipping unbidden into his dreams of being a full demon.   
  
With her kind voice, she had chased away all the sanity in him. She had made him desire to be a human and give up his demon heritage forever. "You've stolen my sanity, Kikiyo..." he breathed, eyes watering with tears as he held her hand.  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal..  
  
This pain is just too real...  
  
There's just too much...  
  
That time cannot erase...  
  
She was too cold.   
  
Her body had died the day she had pinned him to a tree. She had died the day that they had been tricked into hating each other, and sorrowfully betraying each other.   
  
All that remained of the woman he had once loved was a clay body, a fragment of her soul, and a bitter resentment at her own death. Nothing could ever change that. Things could never be like they had been in the past.   
  
Time had changed too much.  
  
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears,  
  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of you fears,  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years...  
  
But you still have... all of me...  
  
Kikiyo didn't have any tears for him to wipe away anymore. She didn't have any fears for him to fight away.   
  
The hand that he clasped desperately was cold and vacant of warmth... of life. She was just an empty shell... But did that really matter? He pressed his forehead against her knuckles, remembering the scent of her; remembering her warmth and the love she had showed him.  
  
She pulled her hand back. "You love 'Kagome'," she accused.   
  
"You still have all of me," he responded.  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone...  
  
And though you're still with me...  
  
I've been alone all along.  
  
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone," InuYasha murmured. He reached out to touch her and then drew his hand back sharply. "And you're still here... still standing before me..."  
  
Her soul collectors started to swirl around her, preparing to bring her back to her new home. They were going to make her vanish... leaving him once again...  
  
He was a half-demon. Besides his mother, Kikiyo had been the first person to not care about that. She had spared his life when he tried to steal the Shikon no Tama. She had changed him; accepted him...  
  
But even though she had never truly left him; he was still all alone.   
  
She vanished, leaving him alone in the heart of the woods. He was on one knees, head bowed, heart calling out for her...  
  
~~~**owari**~~~The end.  
  
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Author's notes;Well, this is just a brief moment in the life of InuYasha and Kikiyo. It didn't turn out as well as I had hoped it would... but still, this is the only thing that I think of when I hear Evanescene's 'My Immortal'. I hope that someone finds this song-fic to their liking.  
  
Thanks for reading,  
  
Kissa-chan 


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